Five years ago, I was 19 and working as a line cook when I became pregnant. My boyfriend and I were terrified, too scared to tell anyone in either of our families. We turned to our friends for advice, and all we heard from them was, "Get rid of it. You're too young. You don't need to ruin your life by having this child."

On top of that, my boss (who had also just become pregnant) told me that if I was pregnant I would have to look for another job(I did not learn until years later that this was illegal). We could barely afford to scrape by as it was, I could not imagine how we would all survive on just my boyfriend's security-guard pay.

These are not excuses, just a glimpse of what was going through our minds when we decided reluctantly to call the clinic. Neither of us WANTED an abortion. We had just been convinced that it was our only option.

I cried through the whole procedure, but no one ever asked me if I was sure I wanted to go through with it. They just shot me up with sedatives and continued. My boyfriend was not allowed to stay with me during the abortion. I had never felt so alone and scared.

About a year later, I joined the military and Kevin and I were married. We now have a 2-year old daughter and I am 8 months pregnant with a son. But we have never forgotten our first baby, whom we loved and wanted very much. I still grieve, I still cry for my child, I still crumble beneath guilt and regret every time I think of my first baby. I know now that if we had shared our fears with our families, things might have turned out differently. If you are considering an abortion, please talk to the people who truly love you and care about you.

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