My name is Laurie and I am pro-life. I felt so bonded to my baby from the minute I discovered I was pregnant. I felt incredibly protective and would not have wanted to do a thing to harm her.

Not so, my Catholic family. They wanted her to die, to spare THEM the embarrassment. Initially, my mother said she hoped I had a miscarriage. When I did not, she would not speak of my child as mine, but as "the baby" as if she were an object. It was heartbreaking for me.

Sadly, Catholic Charities decided to take advantage of this situation. They had so many people hoping to get a baby. They told my parents it was their fault I was pregnant and they must make sure it never happened again. They must not acknowledge me as a mother or acknowledge my child - and most importantly they must definitely not offer to help me with her.

My boyfriend committed suicide when he found out his child was going to be used for adoption. I was not yet through college and could not support my baby.

My mother really did want to help, and she wanted her beautiful grandbaby. But she followed the advice of the "experts" and went to her grave never getting to see her granddaughter again. They told her I could have more children later - to get her to give in.

After my daughter was gone, I could never talk about it at all, it was so traumatizing - and I didn't want to upset everyone else. I have struggled for years to keep from committing suicide over this unacknowledged loss. In trying to appear happy I came off appearing so happy and carefree that some married people actually told me they wished they could offload their children at birth!!!!!

I know my mom felt like she failed me. Whenever I went to visit her, in her later years, she always said, "We should have kept your daughter." It was so incredibly hard for me to hear those words TOO LATE that I never could respond.

Pro-life does not mean you need to make your child or grandchild "available" for others to adopt. Pro-life means promoting male - as well as female - responsiblity for pregnancy prevention. Pro-life means loving your own daughter enough to help her keep her baby - your grandchild. Pro-life means keeping your baby and finding ways to make it work - if at all possible in this climate that is so opposed to motherhood.


-- submitted anonymously