I was 19yrs old when I had an abortion and I am 23 years old now and I still can't forget my firstborn.. I find myself at sites like this every month. Remembering my baby... and still not fully forgiving myself for murdering my child. I can still remember waking up in the middle of the abortion wandering why am I here..and before the procedure seeing a picture of him when they did the ultrasound. God that picture is planted in my head. I was a week from 5months pregnant and I aborted my baby because I was scared and getting ready to go to college...

After the abortion I felt momentary relief and everyday now I feel nothing but pain. I can't describe how much it hurts. In July of this year I got pregnant again and I had a miscarriage and all I could wonder was.. Is God punishing me? Is it meant for me to have children now. I want so bad to have a child now.... But I know only in Gods time. I miss my babies more than anyone will ever know. I have no one to talk to... because my friends amd family always say let it go...But how can I when the pain is so present.

-- submitted anonymously